5 Things Therapy Has Shown Me

Hi friend 👋🏼,

Therapy is often seen as a last resort, a place you turn to when things are falling apart, or life becomes too overwhelming. But what if we shifted our perspective? What if we looked at therapy as a proactive, empowering tool that helps us better navigate the complexities of life? Over time, therapy has given me invaluable insights, teaching me lessons that have fundamentally shaped how I approach relationships, self-care, and personal boundaries. Today, I want to share with you five of the most impactful lessons I’ve learned through therapy. These insights are not just about surviving life’s challenges—they’re about thriving in the midst of them. I go to therapy twice a week, most of my sentences start with “Well, my therapist says…” so after 25 years of being in it (yes, that long) I have some thoughts.

1. Other People’s Behavior is On Them

One of the first things therapy taught me was that I am not responsible for the actions or reactions of others. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling guilty or responsible when someone else behaves poorly or reacts negatively. This tendency is especially common among those of us who are naturally empathetic or who strive to maintain harmony in our relationships. But the truth is, other people’s behavior is a reflection of them, not of us.

Therapy has helped me understand that I can only control my own actions and responses. When someone behaves in a hurtful or irrational way, it’s usually more about their internal struggles, insecurities, or unresolved issues than it is about anything I’ve done. This realization has been liberating, allowing me to release unnecessary guilt and focus on how I choose to respond, rather than getting caught up in trying to manage or fix someone else’s behavior.

2. Most People Are Just Projecting

Another powerful lesson I’ve learned in therapy is that most people are just projecting their own fears, insecurities, and unresolved emotions onto others. This projection often manifests as criticism, judgment, or even unsolicited advice. Before therapy, I would take these projections personally, internalizing them as flaws or shortcomings within myself. But now, I recognize that when someone projects their issues onto me, it’s really about them, not me.

Understanding projection has been a game-changer in how I navigate social interactions and relationships. It’s helped me create emotional distance from other people’s negativity and focus on maintaining my own sense of self-worth. Instead of absorbing their projections, I’ve learned to set boundaries, protect my energy, and stay grounded in my own truth.

3. Never Assume

The third lesson therapy has taught me is the importance of never assuming. Assumptions are often based on incomplete information, leading to misunderstandings, miscommunications, and unnecessary conflict. In the past, I would often assume the worst when I didn’t have all the facts, which only served to heighten my anxiety and create unnecessary drama in my relationships.

Therapy has encouraged me to adopt a mindset of curiosity rather than assumption. When I don’t know something for sure, I’ve learned to ask questions, seek clarity, and communicate openly rather than jumping to conclusions. This approach has not only improved my relationships but also reduced my stress levels, as I’m no longer wasting energy on baseless assumptions.

4. Self-Care Matters Deeply

Self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. This is one of the most crucial lessons I’ve learned through therapy. In our fast-paced, achievement-oriented culture, it’s easy to neglect self-care in favor of productivity and external validation. But therapy has shown me that without proper self-care, everything else in life begins to suffer.

Taking care of myself, both physically and emotionally, has become non-negotiable. This means setting aside time for rest, relaxation, and activities that nourish my soul. It also means recognizing when I’m overextending myself and taking proactive steps to prevent burnout. Through therapy, I’ve learned that self-care is not selfish—it’s essential for maintaining my overall well-being and being able to show up fully for others.

5. I Get to Choose What I Let In

Perhaps the most empowering lesson I’ve learned in therapy is that I get to choose what I let into my life—whether it’s people, thoughts, or emotions. This concept has been transformative, especially when it comes to managing negativity and maintaining a positive mindset. In the past, I would often feel overwhelmed by other people’s opinions, societal expectations, and the pressures of daily life. But therapy has taught me that I have the power to decide what I allow to influence me.

I’ve become more discerning about the company I keep, the content I consume, and the thoughts I entertain. This doesn’t mean shutting out the world, but rather being intentional about what I allow into my mental and emotional space. By exercising this choice, I’ve been able to cultivate a more peaceful, focused, and fulfilling life.

As we embark on this journey together, I invite you to connect with us on Instagram @femmeforce_co to stay updated with our daily doses of inspiration and Femme Force updates.

P.S. If you ever have questions, suggestions, or just want to chat, please feel free to reply to this email 📧 I'd love to hear from you!